Brace! Brace! Brace!
Three words you hope never to hear squealed in anger. But in an idle moment last week I was leafing through BA’s HighLife magazine when I noticed an ad with an image of a cabin crew badge, and the headline “Take control”. The crux of the body copy went: “… knowing how to take control in the unlikely event of an emergency situation gives you added security and confidence in flying.”
Apparently there’s a course run by BA for would-be busybody passengers. Evacuating a smoke-filled cabin. Opening aircraft doors. Plunging down evacuation slides. Crazy, man.
Imagine if it catches on. One bumpy landing, a wee bit of turbulence, a suspicious-looking passenger… all hell could break loose! There’d be frequent flyers jumping out of their seats, screaming muffled instructions through perfectly-fitted oxygen masks, randomly popping life jackets, jettisoning the over-wing exits and decompressing the cabin.
I know BA’s strapline is ‘To Fly To Serve”, but isn’t this taking it a bit literally? Surely this is a job strictly for the professionals. To paraphrase Mr McEnroe, they can’t be serious… can they?