Brace! Brace! Brace!

Three words you hope never to hear squealed in anger.  But in an idle moment last week I was leafing through BA’s HighLife magazine when I noticed an ad with an image of a cabin crew badge, and the headline “Take control”.  The crux of the body copy went: “… knowing how to take control in the unlikely event of an emergency situation gives you added security and confidence in flying.”

Apparently there’s a course run by BA for would-be busybody passengers.  Evacuating a smoke-filled cabin.  Opening aircraft doors.  Plunging down evacuation slides.  Crazy, man.

Imagine if it catches on.  One bumpy landing, a wee bit of turbulence, a suspicious-looking passenger… all hell could break loose!  There’d be frequent flyers jumping out of their seats, screaming muffled instructions through perfectly-fitted oxygen masks, randomly popping life jackets, jettisoning the over-wing exits and decompressing the cabin.

I know BA’s strapline is ‘To Fly To Serve”, but isn’t this taking it a bit literally?  Surely this is a job strictly for the professionals.  To paraphrase Mr McEnroe, they can’t be serious… can they?